Cash, English, and e-mail

Aaron Wells

Copy Editor

Sagebrush 4-17-2001

I ain't in computer science for the money. I know that's a strange thing to say, but it's the truth. When I first discovered the wonder of coding when I was a misanthropic seventh-grader, my first thought was not, "Now I can work in a cubicle for 40 years making $75,000 a year!" No, those low-resolution Apple IIe graphics programs I made were just because I thought it was a nifty challenge to make that useless box show cartoons, and the 10,000-line program I wrote in line-numbered BASIC to teach myself Morse code was not about the financial prospects of someday working for the telegraph company.

I program because I like it. Liking something, though, doesn't necessarily mean I get good grades at it, and these days I find myself failing the computer science classes that I love more than any other classes I've yet taken in college. Simultaneously, I find myself still getting A's in all my English classes, like I've been doing since I was a kid.

I ain't in English for the money. That's pretty obvious, but it bears saying, since English is a field most people spend their academic career trying to escape from, so it's a field that many people would be in just for the money, if there were just any money to be in it for. But even if there was any money in English, that's not what I'd be in it for.

I write because I like it.

I also write t get women. That's a give, though. Like playing a musical instrument or being an artist, the fundamental reason for anyone to become a writer is to attract individuals of the appropriate sex.

At the moment, though, I've got a girlfriend, which leaves me in English just because I like it, not because it'll get me chicks, and not for the money.

I guess I'm also slightly in it for the grades.

In fact, I've never really taken English classes seriously, because I always get good grades in them. It makes me think that all English classes are just fluff, not really classes. I can see a lot of you out there nodding your heads and rolling your eyes, but I should mention that I could be wrong. See, I'm also, allegedly, really, really smart. Like, genius-level, according to the tests I take that neglect the fact that I keep failing classes and just focus on how quickly I can pencil in little circles next to meaningless abstract symbol-based puzzles. Therefore, rather than these classes just being fluff, I may actually be doing really good in them.

It's tough to tell. My whole life, I've constantly been seeing things like, "Best paper I've seen in all my years of teaching!" written on essays I really didn't put much heart into. I've just come to see it as something polite that teachers write on an essay to make you feel good, like the smiley-face stickers I used to get in elementary school.

So, right now either you're nodding your head in agreement once more, or you're clenching your fist in disgust at what a blasé and bragging over-achiever I am. Unfortunately, I have no way of knowing. Which is, of course, the downside to writing.

Oh, I suppose I could give out an e-mail address or something. But since no on reads the Sagebrush except for friends of opinion piece authors and the members of the ASUN Senate, every single person who is reading this right now already has my e-mail address or can have my boss fired if they disagree with me, which is just as effective a medium of communication as e-mail.

If you're reading this right now and you don't know me, Aaron Wells, personally, check your classes. If there's a short quiet guy who's wearing a tan-brown leather jacket that says, "I think I'm cool for wearing this because I'm a nerd," that's me.

And if I'm not in any of your classes, and you're reading the Sagebrush, maybe you should consider running for ASUN Senate.