War of the Words, by A.G.Wells

Welcome to the dull and pretentious A.G.Wells literary archives! I'm Aaron G. Wells, and, yes, I'm often dull and pretentious, and so are my poems, and especially so is my prose. I looked at the Internet, and saw that the one area it was definitely lacking in was dull and pretentious poetry by amateur writers, so I decided to infuse some life into the area by adding my own writings to the mix. I hope you find them as dull and pretentious to read as the were for me to write.

Poetry

The Night Before Thanksgiving

Very Like a Smurf

The Terminal Poet

A Poem Based on the Idea that the Title is a Lot Longer than the Actual Poem, Which May Seem Like a Pretty Weak Concept, But, Hey, I had Writer's Block at the Time. C'mon, Let's See You Do Better, You Hypocrite. Anyhow, This Haiku, Well, Actually, It's a Senryu, Was True When I Wrote It, But Of Course Now It's a Little Off, Well, Actually It's Off By About Six Months Off. Oh, Whoops, I'm Rambling. Why I Don't I Just Let You Read the Poem Now? Yeah, That's a Good Idea, I Think I'll Just Do That. Okay, Goodbye.

Angry Letter to My Television

What Do Nature and Love Have in Common

Programmer's Love Song

Tired of Waiting

Doorstop of Love

Ode to a Ceiling Panel

On The Difficulties of Girlfriends (and Boyfriends) Who Don't Know That You Can Also Have Girl Friends (and Boy Friends) Who You Don't Date and Who Aren't a Threat to Their Supremacy, Although You Hung Out a Lot But That's Only Because You Had No One Else to Hang Out With and They Were There and You Can Look at a Member of the Opposite Sex Without Wanting to Screw Them, and That's the Case Here, and It's Not Like She Showed Up In My Dreams Once or Twice and So What If She Did (Not That I'm Saying She Did) and It Wasn't Anything Dirty, or At Least Usually Not Dirty, Which Is To Say Not Dirty At All (Nervous Laugh), and So Maybe I Talk About Her a Lot But That's Only Because I Hung Out With Her a Lot and She Gave Me Many Books That I've Been Reading Lately and That's Not a Sign of Love, It's Just a Sign of Affection and She's More Like a Mother to Me and She's Nothing Compared to You, Doll, and It's not Like She's My Ideal Woman or Nothing Because, of Course, You Are, My Sweet. Now Kiss Me. Oh, Don't Be Like That.

Haiku To The Girl I Met In Vegas A Month Before I Had To Leave For College, And Started Dating Anyhow And Never Regretted It Despite The Fact That It Had To Be So Short, Until About 3 Weeks Later When She Became Really Annoying And I Only Regretted That I Couldn't Leave Town Sooner

"A lifetime of beautiful nights..."

Poem With Only a Title

An ode to Anodes, Cathodes, et al

Tekin's Class, with Space to Represent where I Fell Asleep

Those Silly Syllabi!

Requiem for the Cased

The Assassination of Bob

Vern's Surprise

Song of the Empty Page

Prose

Canada Proposal

Maraschino Cherri